Sweet confusion: I have no idea about the first wedding night!

Mohini Mehta

Question: I am a 28 year old well settled young man. I am now being forced to marry from my home. It is not that the mind does not want to marry. I have been in relationships before but I am afraid of the very name of marriage. What should I do? A young man (Ahmedabad) Answer : Every time when it comes to marriage, there is not always a feeling of happiness in the mind. There are also many people who sweat the name of marriage. This condition is known as gamemophobia. A person with gamemophobia is afraid to move forward and commit to a long-term relationship. Surprisingly, in spite of this fear, they still yearn to have a partner. When the person in the relationship with the person suffering from this problem becomes serious, the sufferer ends it. They may have many reasons behind doing this, like they feel that these days no relationship lasts much so why should I waste so much time and energy? Some past bitter experience or genetic cause is responsible for this mindset. Gamemophobia is also likely to be passed down from one generation to another. If you feel like this, you can take the help of a psychologist who will help you change your thoughts. Question: We have been married for two years. My wife does not get along with my parents. So she often quarrels and goes to Pierre. Her parents understand that the daughter's behavior is not appropriate. They always explain it and send it back. How should I explain this to my wife? A man (Vadodara) Answer: Even after two years of marriage, your wife does not get along with your parents, quarrels and their friends keep going, it is not right. They should understand that your parents are now their parents too. Your wife needs to understand that if mother-in-law says or says anything, there is no need to take it to heart. So good that her parents understand and send the daughter back. If you discuss with his parents and then explain to your wife, she will definitely understand. If your wife has any other problem, discuss it calmly with her and find a solution. Question: I have been married for six months. Before marriage I was working, which I quit after we got engaged at the behest of my future husband. Now after marriage my mother-in-law lives in the village and we are the only two here. I want to start working again, but my husband says no. How do I convince them? A girl (Surat) Answer: If you were working before marriage, then there was no need to quit. You could have left instead. Now the question naturally arises as to what do you do all day alone at home as you have no one at the moment. Discuss all these things with your husband calmly. Also mention that if you are working, you will be financially supported at home. If you talk understanding every aspect, they will definitely say yes. The tone of your speech should be persuasive rather than stubborn.

Question: I am a 23 year old girl. I am getting married in two months but I have no idea about the first night of the wedding. This is why I feel so scared thinking about marriage. What should I do to overcome this fear? A young woman (Ahmedabad) Answer : It is necessary to have a common understanding about sex life before marriage. If it is not there, problems can arise at the beginning of married life. If you really don't know anything about it, read some books that give accurate scientific information. Try to build a bond between you and your future husband. Get rid of the fear about marriage. If you want true and solid guidance about sex life and family planning after this marriage, then you can take the help of a good doctor. A suitable doctor will be able to solve all the questions that are confusing you by counseling.