Mohini Mehta.
Question: I am a 26 year old married man. I have two children. My wife is the cause of my problem. At the time of marriage we were told that the girl is a BA pass, whereas she is only a 10th pass. He neither loves me properly nor is he able to raise children properly. There is another girl who is perfect in every way. I want to marry him. Is this possible? A man (Rajkot) Answer : Your complaint is not justified at all. In fact you should have done all the research about the girl before finalizing the relationship but you didn't. Now, after 5 years of marriage and father of 2 children you are seeing this flaw. You believe that your wife cannot raise her children properly. In such a situation your responsibility towards children has increased but instead of paying attention to this you are falling in love with a girl and dreaming of marrying her. You should understand that if you marry another wife despite having one wife without obtaining a divorce, it will be illegal. So, the correct advice is to try to maintain harmony with the wife and take care of the family. Question: I am a 35-year-old married woman and mother of a 13-year-old son. My husband is a government officer. My husband has a psychological disorder that makes him very angry. Because of this I have been living a miserable life for 15 years. I was a teacher in a government school before marriage. I now want to separate from my husband and get a job in a school again and bring up my child properly. Is my decision correct? A Woman (Surat) Answer : If you feel that your husband is not going to improve, you can take these steps to tolerate his abuse and give your child a healthy environment. You should first find a job for yourself. Tell your husband about your decision only after arranging accommodation. It is possible that because of your harsh decision, your husband will realize his mistake and he can improve. Sometimes going away also brings sweetness in the relationship. Question: I am a 42 year old female. I got married some time ago but we have not been able to have sex. My husband believes that the reason for my late marriage is because I had an affair before marriage. When there is no such thing. Is there any test through which I can prove to my husband that I have not had physical relations with anyone before marriage? A woman (Ahmedabad) Answer : Why does your husband feel that you had physical relations with someone before marriage? As far as the test to prove your virginity to your husband is concerned, this test is done but there is no merit to this test. It is also called two finger test. This test checks whether a woman's hymen membrane is intact or not. But actually this membrane is so flexible that it can break even during physical activity. Apart from this, artificial hymen-like tissue can also be created through hymenoplasty. So this test has no value. If you want to improve your marital relationship with your husband, remove the seeds of doubt from his mind. Adopt new methods to improve your sex life. Keep yourself fit to attract them to you. You can also get medical guidance for this. Question: My boyfriend has a new job and is touring a lot. Now he is very busy. Doesn't even call. I'm starting to feel like I don't even exist in his life. First he used to talk to me on the phone for a long time and praise me. Now that settles the matter in short. When I complain, he says try to understand my situation. I don't like it at all. What is the benefit of such a relationship? How to explain my mind? A Girl (Vadodara) Answer : Your problem is reasonable but right now you should understand your boyfriend's current situation. There is new work, it is necessary to focus on it. Give it time to adjust. You should also understand that the job is important for both of your lives. Have some patience. Slowly everything will get better. This is the time to understand and support your boyfriend. He will also understand how much you love him from your behavior. His future with you also depends on your wisdom. Question: I got married just 6 months ago. His nature is a bit stubborn and angry due to which we often quarrel. What should be done to avoid this conflict? A girl (Sanand) Answer : Every person has some qualities and defects. Everyone has different ideas. Everyone grows up in a different family and social environment. Everyone has their own personality traits. Stubbornness is a personality trait. There are many reasons why a person becomes stubborn. Such as fulfilling every wish with excessive pampering in childhood and fulfilling a wish with anger when it is not possible. Gradually this childhood stubbornness turns into a habit. You know that your partner is stubborn so when he becomes stubborn about something, he has to be treated very sensibly. When your partner is stubborn, instead of arguing with them, try to explain them with love. If you also act angry, things can get worse. When your partner is in a good mood, privately explain to him that it is his stubborn nature that is bothering you and spoils the atmosphere at home. It has bad effects Despite all this, if your partner's stubbornness is not being controlled, consult a counselor as it may be difficult for you to stay in such a relationship in the long run.
Question: I am a 30 year old female and currently single. I am a teacher in a school. A senior teacher has recently joined our school. He likes me a lot, I even told him about my feelings. But he said I am married and now ignores me. I don't understand what to do? A Girl (Olpad) Answer : You are in love with her so you don't want her to be upset with you. In such a situation you have to act wisely. It is better if you stay away from them for a while. Nowadays people spoil the lives of girls in the name of love. It is the honesty of the person that he has not hidden anything from you about his married life.
If you too are stuck in a complicated relationship problem, share your confusion with us at madhurimamagazine@gmail.com. You will get a sense of peace of mind.
Image Credit: (Divya-Bhaskar): Images/graphics belong to (Divya-Bhaskar).
