Mental health: When even the holidays feel stressful…

'Doctor, I don't know why but when these festivals come, my stress increases. My diabetes and blood pressure both skyrocket. Our family is so big that making Diwali dinner for everyone becomes a project. My only pressure is to make everyone happy. I believe everything should be perfect from decorations to dishes. Everyone is always waiting for my Diwali invitations, because every time I do something new. But, now after reaching fifty years one feels a little tired. 'If people don't like it' is a constant concern. We are two people. We don't have any children but my house is so big that I have to have a big team to keep it up-to-date. My husband Abhiraj always wants to celebrate Diwali at home. Every worship should also be organized. Even in its rush, I am stuck.' Archanabehan's speech was bored and her face was tense. Everyone is celebrating Diwali right now, but there will be some people who are not as enthusiastic or happy as others. Some people also have the stress of festivals. What other people will think or say about us has become more important. There is concern that one's celebration may not be seen as 'molola' on social media. Trying to do something 'hutke' many people lose their mood and stress increases in imaginary concern of their own prestige. Many people feel lonely during the holidays when their family is very small or non-existent. Single or separated people or people who have gone to work away from home or sometimes the abandoned senior citizens are the victims of such 'holiday loneliness'. Now the festivals have become the party season. In which healthy eating and drinking habits are laid down. Many times we eat so much in the name of 'healthy-sweets' that it does more harm than our native sweets. Addictions increase in the holiday mood, sleep is disrupted and the mood often turns unhealthy in the quest to cook those 'healthy' dishes. Even so, chances are high that routine blood reports will deteriorate after the festival. Also, on which day we will wear what clothes, what decoration we will do and what gifts we will give to people is also a big spree. All these should be enjoyed instead some people with anxious personalities get agitated and create turmoil. A big presser now jumps from the mobile screen to the brain and that is to be happy at any cost during festivals, whether you are happy inside or not, to give a plastic smile in group photos, to please others and garner 'likes'. Feeling happy from within and feeling the pressure to 'be happy' are two different things. Just like Archana, the act of feeling pressured to be happy becomes a stress in itself. Any festival is a wonderful arrangement traditionally held to relieve the stress of mankind and to give man a break from the routine of religious, social and economic matters. A festival is a psychosocial event celebrated in a group. Seeing each other in joy increases one's own joy. Celebrations increase the psychochemicals oxytocin and serotonin in the body, which improve mental health, but people who try to please others by setting the festival in a frame of rigid expectations experience 'performance anxiety'. They often get trapped in an 'obsessive' mindset by setting strict standards for their own happiness. It means living trapped in the 'well of preconceived beliefs'. For this, they suffer from insecurity and fear of people's rejection at the unconscious level. Social fear of how one will feel in one's group or in the so-called 'society' becomes a hindrance to the joy of the festival. We all need to free ourselves from both the pressures of these expectation-laden festival ways or the social media pressure of fashionable 'simplistic' teachings and start experiencing the festival naturally. what do you say

The winning stroke should be inherent in the festive tradition of human joy. Somewhere far away from the closed-mindedness of the Kurivajos and the reformist intransigence of the so-called traditional festivals, one can smell the beauty of the festivals. Heartfelt Happy Diwali!