Love Each Other: Cheating or Cheating Right or Wrong?

When someone close to us lies to us, hurts us financially, breaks our trust or tells others something personal about us… it hurts, it has to because we are human. We all have gone through such situations at times. Each time each person responds differently to such a confusing situation. Some get angry, some bring the two parties together to make right and wrong, some fight without checking… But what is important is that when someone pushes our buttons and our pain, frustration or anger comes out, it means It may happen that the other person knows our psychotechnology, he can force us to behave whenever and however he wants! Don't we have our own thought or behavior? In the letters that come to me, I often get many letters complaining of being cheated in marriage, relationship, by children or by siblings… Then the question arises, who can cheat us? The person we trust the most! How does one cheat if there is no faith? Why should we be surprised if someone with whom we have a close relationship, whom we talk to personally, whom we trust can break our trust? Yes, it's easy to say, but those who have experienced it feel a lot of pain – regret for trusting – feel cheated, all true, but if what happened cannot be changed and the other person doesn't even regret it. Forgetting and moving on is the right and best way. Now someone might ask, 'If we don't even tell that person that we know his deception and have measured his trickery, then that person will not get into the habit of cheating?' Yes! Must be told… but, with complete sanity and mental balance. Our problem is, we sometimes lose our mental balance when we are cheated, trust broken or betrayed. Talking, fussing, crying, fighting are all natural reactions. The biggest shock to the other person is when we tell the other person about our betrayal, our pain or our deception in a relatively cold but firm manner, without getting angry or losing our minds, in a situation where the other person expects the same. This is not easy, but if it can be done, there is no greater victory or peace of mind. All of us have suffered from our own personal pain from time to time. Do you have the courage and willingness to break up with that person at such a time? You can walk away with a decision 'not to cheat again', but is it okay to be suspicious of everyone you meet, to trust no one, and to constantly caress the wound and bleed it out by remembering the deception or betrayal you have experienced? Sometimes the other person may not be entirely to blame, being prepared to give the 'benefit of doubt' can often save a relationship. When we are cheated, betrayed, we lose patience or readiness to listen to the opposite person. We have already got the knot that he will tell a lie, so our mind and brain do not register what the other person says. Perhaps, even if registered, our reluctance to trust it once again is a natural human thing. Now, the thing to understand is that we have past relationship data right? Has the other person done this every time in the relationship for two-four-five or ten years, 15 or 25 years? Often cheated? So it's your fault… If we are ready to cheat again after giving one or two or three chances, we are responsible, but if it happened for the first time, maybe, by giving the other person a chance to speak his mind – forgiving him will regain his trust. Showing willingness to commit can not only save the relationship, but also improve the level of emotion and trust. This matter is mostly connected with the behavior of married life and children. Parents usually cringe when teenage kids lie, misbehave—doubt everything they say. It is possible for the child to try to improve because of the pain caused by the parents or because of self-inflicted regret, but when it is hurt again and again by mistrust and doubt, the child makes the mistake of refusing to improve or change and end up in the same situation again! A husband or wife may have an extra-marital affair, when they are caught, forgive only if they are ready to forget it – if they have to repeat the same thing again, it is certain that married life will never be the same. A person who believes that because someone has cheated us, we also get the right to cheat or betray the other person is making a huge mistake in his life. The truth is, there is more happiness in being cheated than being cheated, because the cheater never forgets that he made a 'mistake', while the cheated person has pain, trauma, heartbreak regret but no guilt of cheating. …

Image Credit: (Divya-Bhaskar): Images/graphics belong to (Divya-Bhaskar).