'Do you both enjoy such drama at this age? It seems that both of them are drunk. Do anything because you are an elder! What mouth will we show to the people? Rajna is engaged. He is getting married next year and I have to tell people that sorry Raj's grandparents have to get a divorce. Is there any shame left?' Aniket expressed concern like a responsible middle-aged son and father of a marriageable son. As it happened, 62-year-old Nirmalaben and 65-year-old Rajendrabhai wanted an immediate divorce. He exploded on the breakfast table at the beginning of the new year and a tsunami came in the house of five people. Nowadays the rate of divorce among people above the age of 50 has increased significantly. Divorces at this age are known as 'grey divorces'. People who have lived together for 20, 30 or 40 years and then want to separate from each other are also called 'Silver Splitters'. If we talk about celebrities, Bill Gates and Milinda, Dipti Naval and Prakash Jha, Meryl Streep and Dawn Gummer of Hollywood, Hugh Jackman and Deborah B Furness, Urmila Matondkar and Mohsin Mir, Sania Mirza and Shoaib Malik, Malaika Arora and Arbaaz Khan, Hrithik Roshan. and Suzanne Khan, Kiran Rao and Aamir Khan, Kamal Haasan and Sarika etc. etc. this trend has started nowadays. However, in India too, 'grey divorces' have increased in the last ten years. There are many reasons like new norms of changing society, financial independence compared to before, longer healthy life. The biggest reasons are psychological. Economic stability and independence greatly influence the decision-making process. Being oppressed or dependent when not tolerated and able to stand on one's own feet financially leads to resentment and a desire to break away from a dysfunctional marriage. Gradually self-centered tendencies are increasing in the society. Just as for physical fitness one has the freedom to follow one's own schedule, in the field of mental health too 'self-centered wellness' is becoming more prominent. 'Why should I be bothered for so many years now?' That thing goes around. Apart from 'I have put up with you so much in my life so far', 'Now that the boys are settled, there is no point in living together.' 'It's high time to split.' These types of ideas have increased. However, this 'grey divorce' is not a sudden phenomenon. Gradually, dislikes have entered into the hearts of two people unknowingly. Gradually that 'non-compatibility' i.e. 'mind-distance' takes shape before behavior occurs. Sometimes social conflicts caused by other people, inability to understand each other, differences in sex, differences in social values, boredom, addictions, desire to remarry, desire for change, verbal or physical violence etc. can also be factors. Sometimes it also happens that 'grey divorce' benefits both the parties. Especially psychological, social or economic. Perhaps a third person has entered the relationship from somewhere, and somewhere there is a strong desire to live life only by his own will. Often tired of intellectual differences too, people resort to divorce at an older age. In the case of Nirmalabehan and Rajendrabhai, Nirmalabehan did not stand by her as a husband during the initial social struggle. Not only that, but even after 38 years of marriage, Nirmalabehan could not give her opinion on any important matter of the house, it was embarrassing for her. On the one hand, Rajendrabhai passed the 12th standard, while the career of Nirmalabehan, who studied masters with a gold medal in the accounts of her time, could not start due to the insistence of her mother-in-law. Even though he wanted to open his own academy even though he was physically fit, he asked, 'Why do you need to do all this at this age?' Saying that, they were stopped again. Nirmalabehan, who was terribly confused by this, now came out. However, sometimes it is also true that both people are happier apart from each other. Of course, in this case both got counseling. Understand the social, economic and legal consequences of divorce. Rajendrabhai's sensitivity and acceptance increased. Nirmalabehan's desire to work was fulfilled with the support and joy of everyone at home. Now gray color is adorning only one wall of Nirmalabehan's office.
Winning Stroke Isn't the phrase 'delighted with pleasure' thought-provoking?
Image Credit: (Divya-Bhaskar): Images/graphics belong to (Divya-Bhaskar).