Titles: Better to control the stomach and the pen. (Chelvani) A woman said to her sister-in-law, 'Man, my husband cooks very bad food. Just seeing her cooking makes me so angry but I don't understand what to do?' Sisterhood reassured Pelli, explaining: 'It's simple. Do one thing, take a piece of paper and write down all the anger that comes to your mind about its cooking and then burn it, then your mind will be relieved.' 'Ok! But then what to do with that paper?' The woman asked coldly! Today in world literature 'kitchen-poems' are also written like love-poems or seasonal poems. This is a new type of poetry in the modern world, which is very popular. Will poets or poets sit in the kitchen and write poetry? Or writing about the kitchen? Or writing on food and drink?- We have no idea about that. Once upon a time The recipe books of a famous female cook named Tarla Dalal were widely read in Gujarati. Poet Suresh Dalal often joked, 'We Gujaratis read 'Tarla Dalal' more than 'Suresh Dalal'!' What's more, food is the favorite subject of the Gujjus because our whole identity is 'pickled' and this 'mahajati is spicy'. You may have noticed that Gujarati shops have long organic advertisements outside Gujarati shops like 'Ahi Khatan Fille Marchan Ready'. Even our Adikavi Narasimha Mehta offers 'Ghee Tan Dhebaran, Dahin Tan Dahinthara' singing 'Jagne Jadwa' to wake up the sleeping Lord. Be it Mirambai or Premananda, calling Prabhu home and having lodging-boarding with food like Kansar or Kheer is just right! The 'hash' that a Gujju experiences after drinking cumin seeded buttermilk is of the level of salvation. No other language has a synonym for that buttermilk word 'hash'. There are 3 rounds in boxing, even in love, if there are 3 rounds, then a Gujju woman can beat a Gujju man 'Saras Jamadi' in the first round itself. In Gujarat, the word 'tesdo' is a favorite word for 'rasado' in dance. Interval: Chiche Bhajan Na Hoy Gopala (Nazir Akbarabadi) A housewife in Mumbai calls her mother in Ahmedabad, 'Mom…I'm trapped. The boys are on vacation so they have to make breakfast for 24 hours, 15 guests are coming for dinner tomorrow. I'll die in the kitchen!' Mom immediately said, 'Don't worry, I am just catching a flight to Mumbai and coming there. Tell me whether to bring Penda from Amdava or Farsan for Piyushkumar?' 'Who Piyush? My groom is Mayank!' said the girl. 'Oh, you've entered the wrong number.' When the Ahmedabadali said, the Mumbai housewife immediately said, 'Hi, hi, so you won't come to help? I have to cook so much?' Kavi Khabardar said: 'Wherever there is a Gujarati, there is Gujarat forever' but not, 'Wherever there is a Gujarati, there is Farsan forever'. Suspense drama in Gujarati: 'Mot malke salto salto…' Even our death is sweet! May everything be sweet to a happy society. That's why we lick 'thinking' with diabetes of wisdom! It is good that our milk is still salty, if it was sweet, the eyes would have diabetes! In our sayings there are things like 'ghee spilled toy khichdi'. In civilized townspeople are addressed as 'Pramodini'! Gujjus are not fond of food, they are 'submissive'! The Gujjus, 'mouthing' in talk, 'mug's name, not peppering!' Our matrimonial ads say 'khadhepidhe sukhi' for Murtia. The average Gujarati floats in red juice and sees the cosmos in the pickle of green gunda. 'Rasa-samadhi' appears in chunda syrup. Once upon a time, a Gujarati boy used to sing foodie songs like 'Tun garm masaledar khatimithi dish' to woo a girl. As the earth revolves around the sun, the life of Gujarati revolves around the plate. For Gujaratis, the center of the earth is the 'stomach'. The average Gujarati tourist is more interested in what he will find in the 'Plate' than seeing the land of the thinking 'Plateau' in Greece. A friend of mine seriously advised me that I should give up writing on art-literature-society or politics etc. Also, my writing will not change the society and the mid-term elections will not come in the country! Then I asked him what should I write about? The friend immediately said: 'Food! Write about the right. Sweet Gujaratis love to read 'Petpuja' on 'Prabhupuja'!' It is true that it is easier to write on 'chutney' than 'election' or to feel on 'samosa' than 'society'! Then I remembered that when I wrote juicy articles on dishes like paunbhaji or panipuri, those gourmand articles became super-hits and went viral overnight on WhatsApp etc. Even my friends and relatives, who never read me, recognized my writing power for the first time and said 'I have as much talent as Tagore or Shakespeare hidden in me.'- said all that! In short, a modest writer like me has more future in 'food-literature' than in 'good-literature'. Let's eat jalebi-ganthia and think about it. End-Titles: Adam: What to make for dinner? Eve: Don't make me an owl!
Image Credit: (Divya-Bhaskar): Images/graphics belong to (Divya-Bhaskar).