'How could he do this, she must have done it for her own selfishness,' 'He shouldn't have married this girl', 'I don't think he will ever learn,' are many such comments we hear every day. Hear that for anyone else? This is called 'judging', which is done by others or sometimes by ourselves.
Big celebrities fall prey to this every day. Recently, actress Shibani Dandekar spoke in a podcast about how she faced people's judgments about her relationship with Farhan Akhtar. She was called a 'gold digger' and labeled a 'love jihad' for her marriage to the actor.
Every day many people are facing such comments in their life, which have a bad effect on their hearts and minds. It is very important to overcome this. So, today relationship In this column, we will talk about how external judgment affects people and how we can combat it.
What is 'judging' someone? When people express their opinions, thoughts and judgments about other people, it is called 'judgment' in English. People often make external judgments by commenting, criticizing or reacting on any social media platform. To know this better, see the graphic below-
Easy to make assumptions about others It is easy to judge, speak ill of, or criticize others. Anyone can do this, but it makes us feel bad if someone judges us. The truth is, when we estimate, we do not benefit. By speaking ill of someone or criticizing them, we forget to love and appreciate them.
Judging someone can have a negative impact Everyone wants to be liked, accepted and respected by people. But when you are judged, not liked, not understood, not respected, it can hurt your self-esteem and confidence. It affects both our heart and mind and if it creates stress many mental problems can arise.
Fear of judgement Author Nawal Fagir has written a book on this subject – 'Fear of Judgment'. In this book he gives 8 ways to deal with criticism and evaluation. He suggests stopping worrying about what people think. Besides, he says in his book, the best way to live is to not take criticism of others personally.
How to deal with external judgment? It is very important to overcome the fear of judgment by others. Often we think what people would say if I did this or keep thinking that he talked bad about me, criticized my work, said this about my character etc. It is important for us to overcome it, to ensure that it does not affect our mind. When we overcome our fear of being judged, what people say has no effect on us. How this can be done, see the suggestion given by the counselor in the graphic below-
Are you afraid of criticism? There are some of us who are afraid of what people will say, lest they criticize me. Do you also pay attention to what other people think instead of thinking about yourself and always worry about other people's opinions? In this regard, ask yourself who those who are criticizing you believe about you and how important they are in your life. You may find your answer, but that is easier said than done, so remember these three points given in the following suggestions-
- Prioritize what you think about yourself – If you let outsiders, who are only there for you as long as they are with you, decide how you feel, it will never make you happy. Remember, other people's thoughts are beyond your control. What the other person thinks about you is entirely up to him. You make yourself a priority.
- Avoid seeking advice from the wrong people – When we are confused, we often reach out to the wrong people for advice. Such people leave no chance to judge us. So, share your thoughts only with your loved ones.
- View feedback as an opportunity, not a judgment – View feedback from others as an opportunity rather than a judgment about yourself. Because some people are judging you while giving you feedback. There is judgment in feedback, but it is up to you to take that feedback positively and constructively.
Image Credit: (Divya-Bhaskar): Images/graphics belong to (Divya-Bhaskar).
