It is said that where there is love, there is also conflict. But apologizing after a conflict is an important aspect of any healthy relationship. It shows humility, empathy and willingness to take responsibility for one's mistakes. However, saying 'sorry' every time is also not good for any relationship. Sometimes even not apologizing strengthens the relationship.
So today relationship In this column we will talk about situations in which you should not say sorry to your partner. We will also learn how apologizing too much can be detrimental to a relationship.
When should you not say sorry to your partner? It is natural for couples to have quarrels in love. But if the same partner has to apologize every time, it can spoil the relationship. Sometimes not saying sorry is necessary to strengthen relationships or prove yourself. The graphic below shows some situations when you should not apologize to your partner.
Now let's talk about the above points in detail.
When it's not your fault Some people in relationships often apologize to their partner, even though they know they are right. They know they have done nothing wrong, yet they do it to save their relationship. But no one should feel that it is only their responsibility to apologize every time. There should be equal participation between both the partners to save the relationship, only then the relationship becomes stronger.
When you tell the truth Many people in relationships apologize to their partner even when they reveal certain facts. They do this to maintain balance and harmony in the relationship. However, if this becomes a habit, it can be harmful to the relationship in the long run.
When you have a different point of view A partner in a relationship may agree or disagree on something. There should be a mutual understanding between the two regarding this. If you disagree with your partner about something and have to apologize before saying it, that's not a sign of a healthy relationship. This shows that you are doing this so that there is no rift in the relationship.
On making time for self-care Many times people want to take time for themselves. But for some reason they are unable to do this and keep scolding themselves for it in their mind. Whenever he does this he feels that he is doing wrong to his partner. He also apologizes to his partner for this.
However, self-care is not bad for relationships. It does not have any negative effect on the relationship. Everyone has the right to take time for themselves. There is no need to feel regret or guilt for this.
Working as a couple and family therapist in Israel for 15 years, Dr. Asel Romanelli has given a very good definition of forgiveness.
When you stand up for your rights Many times a person feels the need to raise their voice in a relationship. Standing up for your rights is a good thing. But this should not require an apology.
When to tell your partner he is wrong If your partner is doing something wrong and you want to tell him, there is no need to apologize. There should be no hesitation in this.
When you don't want to listen to your partner There are many occasions when you disagree with your partner. Suppose your partner wants to go to a party, but you don't really feel like going. In such a situation, you can refuse it outright. No need to say sorry.
While expressing your feelings There is no need to say sorry every time you express your feelings to your partner. Saying sorry in this situation means that you have lost your value.
Disadvantages of apologizing too much People who apologize too much to their partner feel inferior. It seems, they are a burden on them or they have no existence of their own. Constantly apologizing can lead to feelings of guilt. See the graphic below to see other disadvantages of apologizing too much.
In what situation is it appropriate to apologize? This seems like a very simple question. But apologizing is necessary only when you have done something wrong. Not when they get mad at you for no reason. Not even when you want to take the blame to settle the dispute.
However, when you have done something wrong and hurt someone, you should definitely go ahead and apologize. It is a form of responsibility. This is a way of saying that you are taking responsibility. Acknowledging their pain and promising not to do the same in future.
Image Credit: (Divya-Bhaskar): Images/graphics belong to (Divya-Bhaskar).
