'Oh h….where are you from?' I was standing with my family at the Ahmedabad airport for a flight to Goa, when a familiar nerd asked with glee. 'Where are you from?' 'Gee…I have got a contract to fly wet on this 'Indigo' plane.' My response was less sarcasm and more embarrassment. Brother-in-law, has come to an airport with family, naturally, to catch a flight? But according to the Gujarati tradition, wherever you find it, you will find the words 'where are you from here?' 'Wow….where are you from?', I asked with a vengeance. 'Hey…the train ride to Goa is too long and the luxury buses are bone-chilling by the time we reach Goa, so I said 'Koo…let's catch a flight…!' Shyly looking at the floor in the middle, he finished the answer, 'We don't need anything except flights.' 'Oh…yes…the flight from Ahmedabad to Sanand hasn't started yet, so you will have to suffer a lot!' Once upon a time the great attraction of going on a flight was to see the air hostesses there throughout the journey. No iron or brass man is interested in seeing air hostesses on any plane these days. We had to catch a Paldi-Vasana flight to Goa. A 'can-slide' culture is a must-see in such family-trips. The seats of eight-ten people of the family have naturally moved back and forth, even though the total flight to Goa is barely a quarter of an hour, Gujaratis take out the cans of Athana-Bhakhri… to pass their montu-bablu back, 'Accuses me…' Pass it to us by saying. ('Excuse me' was the English spoken in Gujarat six hundred years ago!) 'This is not the first time we've been on a flight', so our gujjus don't have to stand up and say, 'Somu, 'conveyor belt,' in a voice heard by the fifteen passengers in front and back. ' Be the first to reach.' Ne Somlo replies, 'Dead…don't worry…I'm wearing a conveyor-belt!' Even after landing, their game continues. In such a short journey, if they get a craving for 'tea', then those who go to the 'Chaywale' shop at Goa airport, would arrange themselves on the seat as if Rana Pratap had just returned from the defeat of the Chittorgarh fort. A tea only Rs.500/. (Yes. One free samosa with tea!). Good luck, Chamana. Even though you have had a full shower during the flight of a quarter of an hour, you are very hungry after landing at the airport…! Yes. Forgive the crime, after two-four times in the flight, the 'lu' (for men) of the airport will be something different, that is, just for time pass…there's a chance to get killed. If it takes a second time to get it, I will go round and round like 'Lagi khule na…'. There are many times when returning back, it is said that, 'If all this is coming from Ahmedabad…?' Just as the exit parade began, little Dinky cried out in panic, 'Daddy, I can't find my bag.' 'All our bags will be found on the 'conveyor-belt',' explains his father. After four-five rounds of the belt, Dinky's bag did not arrive. Dinki is not the same as Roa, where Roi has fallen, the last runner in the race of ten thousand meters comes loose and dying, Dinki's Maddal bag is seen coming. She was so excited that, seeing the bag, I immediately jumped on the belt… Dad had to pull it off! Gujaratis get to see (and drink) the likes of Goa! I don't drink, but I have seen drinkers for years, eighty percent Gujjus don't know how to drink. Come here and drink liquor like lassi. After coming here, even Gujaratis are not happy, almost everyone shakes the glass and drinks. Yes. Gujjus don't know anything about whiskey, brandy, rum, gin, vodka…and go to Goa and start vomiting after taking a sip of it. I never drink, but I know that alcohol does not suit us!
Thugs on bikes wearing sixer helmets snatch chains from women's necks and no one is caught on CCTV because of the helmets, yet… on what revenue has the government fallen behind? How many heads have helmets saved after falling off a bike?
Image Credit: (Divya-Bhaskar): Images/graphics belong to (Divya-Bhaskar).
