Dear daughter, we have had several discussions on this topic. In each of these debates, your unique arguments and arguments make me speechless! And that is why I am writing you this letter today instead of discussing with you again. What I can't explain by telling you, maybe I can explain better by writing! My only request before reading this letter is to keep the doors of logic closed! Because 'the gap between logic and reality is long…always! Betta, logic-based arguments may give the kick after two pegs of vodka, but the reality is like the moments after a hangover – you have to live it like it or not!' We brought you up a little differently. You have never been refused to go anywhere, with anyone or at any time because we are confident that our daughter will not abuse the freedom given to her. Son, I feel proud of you when you talk about women's rights or argue about women's equality. When I was like you, I couldn't even think if I said that! When you were twelve, your father sent you alone on a flight to Bangalore at Foi's house. I chanted God's name until I met you at the airport. At the age of seventeen, your father sent you alone to Europe. After that you did a lot without us alone or with friends. On every trip, your father used to explain to me that my daughter will not travel the world, but how will she know the world? Son, knowing this world is not very easy, it is difficult. Do you remember one day you were going to office wearing a spaghetti frock and your father told you, son, change your clothes and go to office…! On that day you took over the whole house. I don't like people judging by clothes, I wear what I want to wear…what about others, I'm bold-modern…etc etc! After that me and your dad stopped teasing you for your clothes. That day we also felt that our daughter should stay away from people who judge by clothes. If men can walk around the village wearing half pants, why not women? Such a thought came to me. But boy…last few days I feel that we need to re-modify the definition of Modernization, Boldness, Equality a bit. Many people judge their modernisation-their boldness from their dress. Beta but your fashion doesn't make you modern and modern. How adaptable you are to the times is what makes you modern. Boldness is not in your behavior, it is in your control over your behavior. Son, ever since that girl was gang-raped in Vadodara, your boldness worries me. To go and stand on a deserted road in the middle of the night, to come alone from a deserted road in the middle of the night is not called boldness but risk. We don't need to show how powerful and independent we are by behavior, son. Be it a case of beta-rape or molestation, I feel that the first thing we should do is protect ourselves. Beta… Bras showing, breasts peeking through low-necks, or clothes that can be discussed about what color panties are worn should be avoided in some places, with some people, on some occasions. You may think I am old school but I do not consider such clothes as fashion, nor boldness. Betta, you often give the example of America and say that someone judges the clothes there? Doesn't it? So why are you here judging the clothes? Betta, if that's what it feels like to stay there forever. So after 18 years, children do not live with their parents. If you stay together, you give them rent…! Our culture-our rites are different. Dress like a country! That is America, this is India. Here many men are looking at your chest and talking. Just as you can wear a bikini or shorts instead of a saree or salwar-kameez on the beach of Goa or Phuket, it is necessary to wear appropriate clothes in college, office or going alone to an outing with friends. Son, such incidents of rape shake the faith inside me. Such incidents do not decrease with sirens and intimations but they decrease suddenly and therefore it is better not to take foolish risks in the name of boldness. That is the protection we have done for ourselves. I am not saying that men should take girls' short dresses as an invitation, but we cannot change the eyes of the people who see us, pass by us, live in the same city with us, nor can we wear glasses of good vision on their eyes! If we are girls, we should avoid going to dark streets in the middle of the night. It's my body, whatever clothes I wear, the other person should control his gaze… Don't argue with yourself like that. Sometimes by mistake in identifying and doing the poison, if the poison is left in the tongue, it will pass away. Son, until this country is able to meet Ravana in Lakshanarekha, Sita has to stay in Lakshanarekha and perhaps that is the wisdom. Son, these naradhams cannot be fought with arguments. We have to fight with them with understanding. Your mother used to wake up in the middle of the night worrying about your safety
Image Credit: (Divya-Bhaskar): Images/graphics belong to (Divya-Bhaskar).
